Saturday, March 31, 2012


While I was in the Army, I attended a Marine Corps course at Kaneohe Bay Marine Corps Base Hawaii.  We participated in the same training as the Marines except for the homosexual stuff.  Although we had an Irish dude with us who wanted to try it, the Marines were pretty possessive about their gayness.
The Course that I was in was a five week course called "Surveillance and Target Acquisition".  Yes...even the Marines are such pussies that they have to find a politically correct way to say the word "sniper" that won't offend people.

I had just been to the Army Sniper School at Ft. Benning...which was a were having so much fun that you didn't realize that you may not pass until it was too I knew that I'd do ok in the Marine Corps course.
I've got some really good stories out of that course..from the Staff Sergeant (acting Gunnery Sergeant) who was leading the course (SSGT Sigmund), to the Irish dude who happened to be my partner who ranked 29th out of 29...but don't try to help him because he's a "corporal" God damnit!....what a fucking idiot.
The story I'll tell right now though is about four SEALs who were in the course with us.  That course was when I realized that Navy SEALs are just people too, and I discovered that I would bet on "ME" when figuring out if I could gut through the SEAL courses or not.
They were all cool guys and I was glad to have met them.  We did some beach stalks and some beach runs...and those guys were hogs in that enviornment.  They helped me alot....but then we went into the jungle....
In the jungle it was a total reversal.  I'd ask one of them to point North...and he'd promptly point East.  They were lost as hell in terrain reading and land we took care of them and helped them out.  We were one big team - you know...
So we were all on a known distance range.  This is what you see in the movies where you know the exact distance to the targets because you are on a raised berm with a big "300 yards" sign (Marines measure by Yards and Army measures by Meters) next to you.  the targets are big...4'x5' pieces of paper.  The targets are counterbalanced and they are big concentric circles with a "x-ring" in the center.  After three rounds, the people in the "butts" would drop the target, then place a 3 inch red circle in the hole that your round made.  At 300 yards, all three rounds would be under the same red marker.
We kept track of our own rounds and my partner and I were on the lane on the left of one of the SEAL teams.  I fired my three rounds, then shifted and fired one round in the extreme upper left hand corner of the SEAL target, then another round in the exteme lower right of the SEAL target.
So what this did...All three of the SEAL fired rounds were covered by one marker, then there was another round upper right, and another round lower the SEALs thought that they were hitting all over their target. 
I must've done this for about 8 or 10 cycles.  The SSGT Sigmund was walking the line behind us and at first stopped to try to figure out what the hell they were doing wrong.  After a couple of iterations he figured out what I was doing...but instead of coming down on me like thunder, he jumped in their asses "what the fuck squids?  You're not on a don't need to adjust for waves..." etc etc.  It was classic.  They were checking their scope mounts, banging on their rifle, tearing their guts out trying to figure out why they were shooting so poorly.  Eventually the figured it out "Stephen you mother fucker..."
They eventually saw the humor in it, but I did NOT get near any water while they were around from then on....

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